Opportunity & Inspiration: The Return of Audacious Living

Daily living can become monotonous. Worse, our daily life can become debilitating, lacking sources of inspiration and clouding over the opportunities of living. Breaking from the monotony cycles is necessary, even daily. However, if our monotony cycle has been running steadily, we sometimes need a hard break to shake loose our mind and open up to inspiration and opportunity once again.

Returning from such a hard break can be jarring. Our energy is actively percolating, our mind is aware, our heart is open. We find ourselves fighting the monotony cycles of nearly everyone around us. Initially, we see the opportunities and the inspirations in each experience, in each human being. We wish to open these fellow beings to living life once again. Yet, often the response is non-existent; worse, the response is to shut us down.

Having patience and understanding for others is necessary. Recall how we, ourselves, had to be brought back to life by flying to the other coast or running into the woods.

We are now the open flame of the audacity of active being. We don’t have to open others up similarly, and we can certainly understand the veils draping across the life of others.

It is traumatic to have someone else lift that veil. Letting go of the opportunities and inspiration of others is difficult. It is necessary to keep our audacity flame alive in our daily life, and, keeping that flame lit is crucial for allowing others to lift their own monotony veil on their own terms, not ours.

Our audacity of living flame has always been lit.
The audacity of living flame is alive in everyone.
Conditions and people have no effect on the flame itself.
Only our own mind can obscure the brilliant, inspiring light of living.
Only our own mind can find the opportunity and the inspiration in everyone and everything.

The Power from the Seat of Frustration

“All the good that we’ve done can be wiped away by one angry word.”

Interacting with others, especially those we touch and that touch us personally in our daily lives, offers countless opportunities for frustration. Within these frustrated moments, we often respond with anger, criticism and discouragement. That anger, criticism and discouragement then gets transmitted to others and eventually back to ourselves. Finding the presence of mind to shut down that nearly automatic response system is extremely difficult but is absolutely possible.

We all affect people, through our words, through our actions, through our intentions. Having a more thorough understanding and appreciation of how these words, actions and intentions affect others is crucial. All that we say, do and think comes back to us eventually. Therefore, any attempts to affect our reactivity from the seat of frustration can have a dramatic, immediate impact on daily life.

Frustration is natural.

Frustration is created by our attachment to having it our way in a world that involves others wanting it their way. This creates a dynamic cycle that recirculates and intensifies frustration and our reaction to frustration continuously. If we alter our reaction from the seat of frustration, we can begin to shut down this cycle within us and others.

Frustration can be explored.

The best way to alter our reaction to our frustration is through thorough exploration of it. It is not imperative for us to act immediately to simple frustration. Instead, we can take a moment to be curious about how it was generated. If we focus our mind on it, we can more clearly see our role in our frustration and clarify the role of others as well. This clear seeing and clarification will aid in finding words of encouragement as opposed to discouragement.

Frustration is our own.

The way we think and feel is our own. Just because someone is doing something or we perceive is doing something to us, does not mean this someone is injecting this feeling of frustration into us. This does not mean that others have no role in shining a light on our frustration, but it does mean that it is our frustration to manage. Potentially, we can redirect this frustration in a more beneficial way as opposed to only detrimental.

Make that which you touch be the best in others.

How often has someone said an unkind or critical word to us that inspired us to be and do better? Remember that truth when interacting with the objects of our frustration. We need to inspire the best in others, not shut the best down. Inspiring the best in others involves having patience, generating compassion and finding understanding.

Make that which you touch in others be the common humanity we share.

We all are part of humanity. We all play a role in the lives of others. We all experience pain and suffering. We all can experience joy and happiness. No one arrived at today all on their own. So many people have affected us and will affect us moving forward. We will affect others today. If we consider how best to affect others, we will bring out the best in them and in our self.

Make our response not add to the pain and suffering of us all.

It is rare that people deliberately, maliciously upset others. If there is intention to upset, this person is hurt and damaged and needs compassion and understanding, not more pain, not more suffering. It is not easy when we feel hurt to not retaliate immediately. If we do, it is understandable.

It should be understandable that others will retaliate similarly. If one of your limbs becomes injured, you don’t chastise or punish the limb, you give it proper care and attention. The same should be given to the injured amongst us.

Frustration is truly fertile territory. People that expose our frustration have blessed us. It is from the seat of frustration that we either inspire others or we tear others down. It is from the seat of frustration that we can bring out the best in our self and in others.
Who is going to be the first person to do the better thing today?

The Blessings of Difficulties and Disappointments

Always look forward to the solutions, not to the problems those solutions intend to solve.

When we strive to achieve anything, difficulties and disappointments should be expected. If we do not believe difficulties and disappointments will arise on our path, we will be shocked and dismayed when they do. Also, if we simply believe something is happening to us or being done to us, we become a victim of our conditions. Laying down the mantle of the victim is the first step in getting back to achieving something with this life when conditions don’t follow the course of our design.

These difficulties and disappointments are designed to happen. We set in motion the events and situations that we experience. Certainly, others can create problems for us. Others can always do this, and it should always be expected. If we do not design our actions with others in mind, we are living in a bubble of our own creation that can be popped by our simple ignorance of others. If what we want in our life is all about our own self-interest, we still cannot live in a bubble indefinitely. If what we want is about others, we certainly cannot ignore others, we must account for them in our plans.

Inflexibility is why difficulties and disappointments can be so debilitating. Inflexibility, the inability to adapt on the spot, is in the way of discovering the purpose in each difficulty and in each disappointment. Discovering the purposefulness in these moments is crucial in continuing forward, to achieving anything, especially something greater than just our own self-interests.

Regardless of the difficulty or the disappointment, we, individually, have the superior role, and we are the superior source of that turmoil. This role and responsibility we hold may not be easy or comfortable to embrace initially. However, we can certainly agree the ultimate bearer of the difficulties and disappointments we experience is our own self. If we’re going to return to work, return to the role of achiever, we must at least embrace the role of the bearer as well.

It is important to realize the goals behind embracing this role. It is not about simple pain and suffering because we deserve it, because we do not. We are learning how to take care of our own self and our own path. Thorough exploration of the source of our life experiences, which is our own self, must start there as well.

Perhaps, our observations were mistaken or not complete.
Perhaps, our actions were not precise or thought through.
Perhaps, our feelings were ignored or were overwhelming.
Perhaps, our intentions were not clear or were not realistic.

This is where to begin that exploration. Be curious about life. This is how we learn, how we adapt and how we achieve better.

We must expect difficulty.
We must expect disappointment.
We must expand our awareness.
We must adapt and continue to strive to achieve.

It is possible to go further than just a simple expectation that conditions will not always follow our design. When we use our explorative mind in all moments, difficulties and disappointments can become fuel for our efforts. These are not negative aspects of living and doing. These are productive aspects of learning and adapting. These are blessings; we need only expand our awareness to see them as such.

Expanding Awareness, From the Source of Hope and Dream

Hopes and dreams can be so exciting and inspire us to action, to reaching beyond today by letting go of yesterday. Our actions from the source of hope and dream have an appearance of purity and light. Then, we wake up, and we realize that purity and light do not simply live in a vacuum.

The light of the sun dawns and shines on half the planet while the other half remains darkened. The darkness is real, but the light is also real. Both co-exist and are also inseparable. To purify water, the impurities are extracted, but not disappeared. The other-than-pure can never be eradicated from the universe. Other-than-pure is made of the same stuff as the pure. There can be no separating the two regardless of how obvious or apparent the separation might be.

We must move our awareness beyond the whimsical and the simply feel-so-good. Expanding our awareness to include the total of our existence and the total of all existence is essential when working from the source of hope and dream. We change the world by simply breathing, and we can breathe with no attention or intention. Imagine breathing with full awareness of the change we breathe into the world with every breath in and every breath out. Imagine breathing into this world change that is infused with intention and action.

We breathe out. Others breathe in.
We breathe in. Others breathe out.
We are connected. We always have been.
We have goals; we have objectives. This desire for all to not suffer, to not feel pain, to flourish and to flower instead, cannot be some lollipop ideal we lick to feel better about ourselves and what we’ve been doing with this life. What have we ever really done to reach anything or anyone in a sustained and purpose-filled way? We must move our actions beyond the surface-altruistic, beyond the easy, the comfortable and the secure. It is easy to help a child in need, not so easy to help a hardened criminal.

We must challenge the idea that some are worthy and that others simply are not. We all breathe in and breathe out the same air. The most effective initial effort to help a hungry child is to feed the child. A more substantial and lasting effort than providing a simple meal could be an education and training in how best to grow food where the child lives. If the child is growing food in a dangerous area where criminals can steal the food from the fields and the tables, perhaps this is not the best approach. This happens every day.

These may not be the most effective efforts to expand the life of a criminal, either. Maybe, this criminal needs as much awareness expansion as we do. Let us start there, common ground. The potential for transformation in our communities lay with working with the hardened views we hold and in the hardened views of others.

Challenge yourself at least as much as you challenge others.

Criminals feel disconnected from the results of the actions they take. These people often feel no connection to others; they have been disconnected from the source of hope and dream for a long time. It is this extended period of disconnection by a growing number of people that must be met with compassion, patience and understanding. If we become frustrated so easily with others, especially those who we don’t even know, our own disconnectedness is being exposed. This is a blessing.

Generate as much compassion, patience and understanding for ourselves as we do for others.

These have been missing for so many for too long. We must be the first to give these to begin our own healing. We have an infinite capacity of compassion, patience and understanding within each of us. We need only to attempt to generate these to discover the source within us. Learning to sustain these for extended periods of time can help heal our life, our community and the world.

And, there is much healing that must take place. We must transform how we think and feel about others, all others. Feeding children is vital for their survivor. Healing the hardened is vital for our civilization’s survival.

We start with the child and the hardened heart of our self. We then expand until it encompasses all others.

Our life is an array. It’s a set of principles, environments, capacities and needs that constantly evolves and interacts with the arrays of others. Our principles shift, environments alter, capacities adapt, needs shift. The orientation and stability of our life array determines how best we can transform the world array that we inhabit. The orientation of our life array is perception-guided. The stability is garnered from our expanded awareness of our role here. It is up to us how we perceive this life and our role in this world.

Charting transformation cannot be done with words or with actions alone. Transformation is beyond thoughts or feelings. Transformation begins with our own awareness. That awareness naturally will spread to the greater whole, to the greater array.

Our lives can manifest in infinite ways. We can actually affect the whole, and we’ve been affecting the whole always with minimal to negligent awareness. We can also affect the whole with expert precision or destructive obliviousness. We must be open to seeing life as it truly is.

Transformation happens through awareness alone.
I have never seen life as it truly is. I can see life as it truly is.
I have never seen people as they truly are. I can see people as they truly are.

Finding Strength Within Emotional Intensity, Part One

The exploration of our mind is a vibrant journey.
There are many paths that we discover on that journey.
Emotions play a critical role on the journey within.

Emotions really are another sense. Mostly, emotions ebb and flow so easily, so quickly that if we’re not aware we lose a lot of rich data about how we live our lives.

The intensity of some emotional experiences can be uplifting or utterly debilitating. Learning how to chart the intensity zones within garners true strength toward living, propelling and motivating us forward.

• Explore and Embrace the Source of Emotions

In order to discover the strength within the intensity of our emotional experiences, we must begin to embrace the reality that these emotions cannot be injected into us by others or by circumstances. Just as the nerves from finger to brain exist regardless if we’re touching something or someone, the emotional system is there regardless if we’re feeling anything or not.

This is not something to just accept and embrace. Explore the beginnings and endings of emotions within yourself. We must have a firm grasp on this truth, otherwise we’ll constantly become distracted or weighed down by the sheer volume of emotional data we receive daily.

Mistakenness begins with assumption and survives with attachment. Challenge this idea that emotions somehow originate from others, others who somehow inject these emotions into us. If emotions came from others, we’ll always play slave to others.

When intense emotions do fire in our emotional system, it is difficult for the mind, initially, to treat these as simply sensory data. Just as many chefs over an extended period of time and experience in the kitchen become less reactive to burns and cuts, so can we become less reactive to our emotional intensity.

Embracing this rich source of data is something that will take a great deal of compassion, patience and understanding. It is only through opening awareness to these emotions that we learn what each is attempting to tell us about our life and our connection to the universe. This is the process of re-forging that connection.

The Internal Waters of Thinking of You

We all think about others. There are countless impressions we have when we think of people and things. These impressions are a heterogeneous mixture of mental images and emotional sensations with bits of memory and stage direction scattered and connected throughout. It’s a big mash up made entirely by our mind.

If we let go of the bits of memory and dismantle the stage directives, it frees up that mental/emotional framework for exploration. It is all the holding on and having it our way activities that block joy and happiness that are in that mash of stuff called our life. Clearing and halting all of those activities present many obstacles, but in each obstacle is an extraordinary opportunity, the opportunity to do something entirely different.

Each obstacle we encounter is mostly of our own creation. Whatever it is that we’re feeling and thinking at this moment comes about naturally. It falls apart naturally as well. What clouds and muddles this process is our memories of before and our hopes and fears moving forward.

We rarely achieve a clear view of our present thoughts and emotions in the moment. In fact, it can be extremely overwhelming to begin to explore either, especially considering the longevity of our ignorance of this inner universe. This is why patience is a cornerstone to progress toward a new way. These uncharted waters have been with us in every moment of our existence. What we have done and not done have accumulated much in these uncharted internal waters for at least our entire life.

Consider the oceans at large we were born into, namely our families, our communities, our country and our world: the accumulated bits of everything and everybody that have been since when. Almost everything that is here and now has been here for a very long time. From this world of stagnation, opportunity for liberation is plentiful, even omnipresent. If we can unclutter the mental and emotional reservoirs, we can begin the journey of reunification.

For the majority of our lives, we have felt set apart from all that we see and experience. Plentiful have been the moments where separation seemed clear and apparent. Rarely, have we thoroughly challenged that clear and apparent nature of life, that somehow we’re separated from all else. Considering the constant flux of matter and energy into and out of this body and this mind, how could we ever have believed we were separate and somehow singled out from the rest?

Letting go of memory isn’t forgetting the past; it is letting go of our limited version of it. Our mistakenness of our real nature has poisoned our well of memories. We must release these memories from the consistent control we wish to wield on others as well as our self.

All of our machinations of tomorrow must be released. All that makes up tomorrow is present here and now. As much as we do not desire external control, we must not direct control outward. These machinations are movies and stories we contrive.

Constantly, we are holding casting calls, building and deconstructing stages and set designs. Our plans for the future are both elaborate and subtle in the ways we seek to control others and the conditions we find ourselves within today.

Search your thoughts. Search your feelings.

Are the people you think and feel about real or imagined? Certainly, people are living lives all over this planet. But are the thoughts and feelings about these actual people accurate and reflective of the life that each has led? Just like us, each person has their own sets of thoughts and feelings. Are those sets of sensations in our thoughts and feelings about those people, or do we just have impressions of people, impressions that are not based in reality whatsoever?

Challenge your thoughts. Challenge your feelings.

These thoughts and feelings ebb and flow, come about and fall apart continuously, one after another after another. With minimal challenging, we can discover the true nature of both. Thoughts and feelings come out of our mind like a natural spring.

Imagine if we let that natural spring flow free.

The Hurt Struggle

“You hurt me.”
If we feel others have hurt us, this is mostly not true. We most often hurt ourselves.

Harm comes to us in three major ways: physical, mental and emotional. Emotional and mental harm, however, are self-created. We only use others in order to do the harm to ourselves without claim of ownership. What we think and what we feel are our own thoughts and feelings. Although we all have the capacity for similar thoughts and similar feelings, these are internal, individual experiences.

This discussion is challenging; let us ease into it.

Certainly, we can physically harm others. We, however, have a fairly superior role in where we are and who is around us. There are some very notable exceptions, sometimes involving work and home. Work and home environments, however, are mostly dictated by our own judgments at certain points.

Other major exceptions do exist in our modern world, involving totalitarian rule and grand scale oppression. Recently, weaknesses have been exposed even in these ways of governance and control. Despite these exceptions, unless we’re being held against our will, we hold the superior role. This does not make the role an easy one; it just means that it is ours to wield.

As long as we continue to see life as being done to us, we’re going to languish in suffering. If we realize we’re at work for a reason, that we live where we do for a reason, then the life dynamic changes from one of victim to overseer. This moment immediately becomes more workable.

We will get through this moment to the next regardless of effort or lack thereof. It is the way in which we consider this moment and our role in it that is the only difference.

We can become distracted by the struggle against reality. It is our struggle against what is that does not much to alter the current state of affairs. A fiery, feisty spirit can be a huge benefit in difficult times, but it can also get in the way. Learning the difference between fighting and accepting is not a clear difference.

Lack of struggle cannot be simple acquiescence. We’re not going to just take it. We’re going to do something about it. To be able to do something about it, we must be able to take it in completely and fully. That is why we have our senses connected to our mind. These senses are a set of devices designed to assist us in working through this moment, directly altering matter and energy to manifest a seemingly different next moment.

None of this is easy. Understanding our role in our life is just a step toward a new life status, one where life and living is on our terms, not the terms of others. Does this mean we don’t contract with people and entities in order to gain a firm footing? No. But, when we do, we need to realize the need, accept the help and live within that contract. Considering other more autonomous options is part of this ongoing process.

We must be careful here. Just because life and living come back under our umbrellas of authority and responsibility, does not stop the tumultuous nature of life weathering that is ongoing. What it does give us is an opportunity to learn as we go, witnessing the results of our direct interventions as we do. This is how we learn as we actively live.

If we’re looking for a simple answer to permanently cure our pain, we won’t find it. The answers have been covered up by misconstruing the source of pain and the source of salvation as something outside of us. Neither is true. Through the exploration of our roles in our lives, we at least give ourselves an opportunity of uncovering these sources from the universe within. It is, after all, the universe within that connects us directly to the universe as a whole.

An Enemy of Hostility: Understanding

To understand hostility is to understand insanity.
Hostility is a commonality in our society. It is delivered in both direct and subtle ways. Direct hostility is more easily dealt with in group settings, less so when dealing one-on-one. Subtle hostility is both difficult to detect and to counteract.

Both direct and subtle hostility can be dangerous and deadly when ignored. Beginning an exploration about each can yield benefits in a hostile workplace as well as a hostile world. Not embarking on that exploration prior to hostile acts may prove more dangerous and deadly than the hostility itself.

“To understand hostility is to understand insanity.” This is where to start in approach, attempt understanding, always. If we’ve been attempting understanding in other less dire situations, it will be there for us in our last moment or give us one last opportunity to change the course of a situation.

Hostility one-on-one can be the cliché life and death situation. Sometimes, there are no actions that can be taken to survive a direct attack, surprise or foreseen. If there is a little room for action, the action we take must be skilled, targeted and delivered with the force of our life.

Last year when I was assaulted and my life was attempted to be taken from this Earth, it was on-the-spot generation of understanding that saved my body from further harm and death.

As I knew my attacker, I didn’t see the attack coming, at all. There was no running from this, as I was truly completely alone and truly completely vulnerable. It was the shock of not having any awareness that I reacted to, not the physical attack by the person. Somehow, generating understanding was the proper response in that specific situation.

“Why are you doing this to me?” was what came out of my bloodied mouth. My on-the-spot attempt to understand my attacker saved my life. The would-be killer had this look of abject horror cross his face, and then he took off, leaving me behind to pick up the pieces.

I’ve been on a constant pursuit of understanding others. It comes naturally for me now. Understanding has become my default response to adversity, to feeling alien amidst the masses.

Understanding is a bridge between us. Even the most harsh of circumstances can be directly affected by its on-the-spot generation. Does this always yield success? No. But it does open up the door on possibility. That is the definition of understanding, being open to possibility.

To remain living despite my momentary lack of awareness is humbling. One moment of lacking awareness nearly ended my life. One moment of understanding brought it back from the brink caused by my break in my awareness.

Any missteps any of us ever take are understandable. If we remain vigilant in the midst of these missteps, we may be able to take a different step.

We must continually open the door of understanding.
We must consistently walk through it.

Irritabilities, Origins Within

Irritability. Where does it come from? When it strikes, it seems everything is prickly, everything is hurtful, everything is tainted by pain and infused with suffering.

We certainly find ourselves irritable often. In those moments, clarity of thought vanishes, actions become muddled and our intentions become toxic with expectation.

Perhaps, the supposed symptoms of irritability are actually the cause of it. If that is so, where and what is our first step down this well-worn path?

Expectation has many subtle avenues into thoughts, feelings and actions. Without expectations, where is the fuel for irritation? Without expectations, where are the barriers between us and others?

We create these ideas of others and ideas of outcomes and expect someone to step into the outcome we’ve envisioned.

Learning to disengage expectations is an enduring pursuit. It is a pursuit worthy of consistent, sincere effort. It is a pursuit we must embark upon today, every day. In the midst of irritation, it is vital.

Fear and Loneliness, In a Crowded Space

We’ve experienced this, congregating with good intent, for right purpose.

We feel good, we feel sufficiently congregrated.

Yet, there’s this guttural undertone. We feel alien. We feel alone. We feel scared. We’re in a crowded space.

Reaching out is nearly automatic. Reaching out invokes response.

Initially, we reach out to those physically nearest us. We feel a connection to this moment we describe and experience. Yet, the response hits the rocks that comprise our self.

Questions, concerns, fears take over.

What are these people after? Is this some personal joke, where we’re the punch line?

Are they just working out some past personal travesty on us? Simply, checking some box to feel better about who and what they are? Which and why they have done what they have done?

Not dissuaded by the falling so short of initial response, we begin expanding our reaching out beyond the immediate physical space that feels so crowded. This seems much like writhing in a desert and imagining water. Can any good come from it?

What possible relief is so not here that we must conjure it up with our mind? And, this conjured vision of relief is elsewhere, not here. Are our hopes that distant from the reality we appear to occupy?

Maybe, our hopes and our reality are neither.

It appears obvious; our immediate attempts at immediate relief will not be answered. Our secondary attempts at relief will not be answered. Not because the answers are not there, but because of where we seek those answers, from others.

As long as we look for salvation and relief from outside of us, we will absolutely fail at both. The way we feel is internal junk and not fired up by some external source. Any change of how we feel must originate internally, not from some external salvation. Any change of how we think begins with our mind and ends with what we do with it.

We fear what we feel we cannot affect in this life. We feel alone when we feel we cannot affect others in any productive way, one-on-one or in some crowded space.

Both the fear and the loneliness are apparitions. Both are an illusion we create to not act and to feel frozen in inaction.

Our intention, good, has been allowed to become clouded by the ideas of tomorrow and the failures of yesterday.

Both the hopes and the fears live in this day. Neither are standalone.

Both hope and fear drag life into the emotional gutter, the mind locking the door on the way down.

Neither hope nor fear can provide any relief for any one.

Hopes and fears are synonymous. Let go of both now. Live now.

Moving on from Letting Go

Letting go is only the first step, leaving behind is the next.

Leaving behind has many different connotations, many of them impart a better-than feeling onto what is left behind. This is not the goal here. That better-than energy is its own tie and tether.

The goal is to remove any dissuasion of moving forward on this path, and one of the most difficult aspects of letting go is leaving people behind to continue their own life in their own way. We truly do not know any better than anyone else. The only thing we may know is that the old model isn’t working for us or in how we impact others.

In transforming our life, the major role people play is usually one of an anchor on ingenuity and independence. This is not to apply intent on these people’s roles in our life--- it’s a simple acknowledgement of the impact other people provide. Most probably, this is a self-imposed impact. Regardless of the source, letting go and leaving behind provide major concerns in making major life changes.

Change is very simple to make. As simple as it is, the true nature of this simplicity is difficult to absorb, as it affects so many aspects of our daily life. This is why, despite the simplicity transformation offers, we mostly decline to move forward. It’s far easier to continue the comfort and security of the status quo, not because it actually delivers comfort or security, but because the histrionics of status quo maintenance keep our life occupied and often overwhelmed.

If we become over occupied with methods to cushion our life from the effects of making change and doing different, we do neither. Also, we are often presented with the challenge of overcoming the last throes of lingering affections of the broken ways we wish to change.

We haven’t been in a continual state of crisis, yet we continue to see the slow decline in our own life. We may even have a sense of comfort and relative stability, yet we feel something is missing. We feel that there’s a great deal more we could do today than simply remaining in the comforts of yesterday.

That vague vision of what is possible is the energy of transformation. We’ve had that transformative potential since the very beginning. There’s ample evidence of it in our life, but only to a point.

Examine the transformation our bodies experience as we grow from a baby into a child into an adolescent and beyond. Our minds go through less obvious transformation, yet mental transformation goes beyond the scope of our bodies. Mental transformation can affect the entire planet.

With transformation, choice becomes key. Certainly, the transformation our body experiences has basic trends, but those trends are increasingly driven by choice as we grow and age. Our minds are driven by choice even more so.

Examine the differences between people and it becomes very clear, and there are countless historic and modern day glimpses of the power of transformation. Olympians are a prime example of choice merging with physical and mental transformation. To become a Gold Medal winning Olympian requires nearly an entire life of stringing choices together toward an objective greater than any one human being.

Truly, transformation is as easy as making a choice. Transformation is just a difficult choice to make, as it is a fundamental shift that straddles our entire day and affects the way we think and feel about everything and everyone. That fundamental shift occurs by making a string of choices, continuously and consistently.

Transformation isn’t about eating a complete breakfast; transformation is about having an increasingly complete day and a fulfilled life.

The Shame and Guilt Monsters

Shame and guilt are weapons. Weapons we use on each other. Weapons we use on ourselves. Shame and guilt are not simple emotion. It is a synergistic response, tearing us and others down. It is used as a force to control, to silence and to shut down a person or a group of people. Shame and guilt are the monsters of human individuality and the prison guards of human spirit.

The reason shame and guilt are so monster-size is because we can never truly see the monster we’ve been taught to fear. If the shame and guilt is applied as a result of past action, it can cripple us moving forward. If the shame and guilt is applied because of what we think or how we feel, it can taint everything we do and everything we experience.

We experience our life through all of our senses. When we apply a value judgment on thoughts and feelings, we create a blockage that becomes a continuously-generating concern. These blockages create an abscess inside our subconscious, driving us to work against our own best interest and the true best interest of others. It taints all we see and poisons all we do.

These blockages freeze our awareness. The blockages obstruct our ability to deal with the source of that shame and guilt, the way we feel about ourselves. Certainly, people judge others. More than that, we judge ourselves. Either way is equally unfair. It's also ineffective and unproductive because we cannot control the way people think or feel about us whatsoever.

It’s our obsession with the appearance of our self coupled with the reality that we cannot change what has already been done that creates the destructive potential of shame and guilt. In reality, we can only move forward and alter the way we conduct ourselves. In addition, our view of history is not one based in reality, as that past moment does not exist anywhere outside of our own mind. That past is our attempt at holding onto our view of our self. We either wish to be right, or we beat ourselves up for being wrong; neither is actually the case.

To attempt control strengthens the resolve behind what's driving our shame and guilt. What we would suggest is to not push against the shame or guilt but to thoroughly explore and challenge it. What we suggest is to begin challenging the way we perceive, where perceptions originate and how perceptions shape all that we do and do not do.

If shame and guilt work for us and others, than we should continue that. If shame and guilt do not work for us, maybe we should attempt to find another way to learn and live.

Turning shame and guilt inside out exposes the truth behind each, it’s all about us.

The Breakthrough: Emotions as a Sense

The untethering of our emotions from external sources begins a journey of redefinition. This is not the redefining of who we’ve always been, but a discovery of what we really are. This process unfolds as the weights and the strings begin to be purged and sliced from our life. This is a breakthrough, and it significantly readjusts the way we experience and interact with everything and everyone.

Emotions are like a sixth sense. Emotions give us immediate, on-the-spot feedback on our life. That feedback can be a guide or an obstacle. The obstacle would be an unwillingness to remain aware and curious to what our emotions are telling us. This would be much like not removing your hand from a hot burner; it makes absolutely no sense.

Instead of working against these emotions, we could turn it all around by seeing these emotions as guides, not walls. By pushing away what we feel, we’re ignoring a large swath of input. This input is particularly rich in texture and diffuse simultaneously.

The nebulous nature of emotion is what confuses us, much like the cosmos confused humanity for generations. It still confounds, such is the complexity and unfamiliarity with the universe as well as our emotions.

We must take great patience as we embark on this emotional exploration. Following emotions to the origin is difficult, but we can at least have a sense of where those emotions do not originate, from outside of us. This is a most common misstep, the connecting of the cause of what we feel to any external source.

Challenge this premise objectively. Objectivity with emotions isn’t easy initially, just as walking wasn’t easy those first thousand steps. Give yourself at least that many here. We, after all, have been treating emotions pretty much the same way for our entire lives.

When we feel anger, is someone injecting that into us, or is someone bringing our innate anger out into the open?

We’re at the stove, we’re sautéing food and some oil splatters and burns our hand. We get angry. Is it the oil that's infused with anger and that makes us angry upon hitting our skin? Or, is that anger already inside of us and simply needs to be triggered to surface?

When we’re happy, are we being lifted up by someone else or an inner light being switched on by someone else? Often, people will remark on how someone or something makes them happy. Ferret out the truth, here. If someone makes you happy, why isn’t that always the case?

These emotions are similar to switches. Sometimes, the circuits break and the switches become useless. Unlike electricity, however, when the circuits break, the emotions may remain transfixed. This is what happens when we attempt to block out our feelings, it can overload the system.

The ramifications are complex and difficult to manage. Remember, our emotions are not us; our emotions are simply another sense, much like our physical senses. Just like our physical senses, our emotions can be misunderstood and easily misinterpreted.

Emotions are just that, impressions about what we’re experiencing. These feelings fluctuate continuously because our experience fluctuates continuously. It is the application of force and control that creates a blockage of that natural process and creates problems for us.

Try this, just experience the emotions. Close your eyes and simply allow your mind to become familiar with whatever it is you’re feeling right now. This is like watching your body breathe, which the body does all on its own without us even thinking. This is what we’re doing here, we’re not thinking about how we feel, but experiencing it as it is. No control required.

You may discover that there are subtle connections between your physical body and the way you feel. This exercise can provide a great deal of relief in the midst of an intense emotional experience. It is the intensity that our mind reacts to through shutting down the emotional process instead of allowing our emotional state to unfold on its own.

Emotions are our own. Emotions are a sense. Emotions arise to help us, not hinder us. Emotions fluctuate naturally; controlling emotions interrupts that natural process. How we experience and think about our emotions directly affects our daily life. How that experience unfolds is completely up to us.

Do we work against our nature, or do we make it work for us?

Openness, Without Regret

The society in which we find ourselves appears on the surface to be open; it has the appearance of free speech. The truth is more murky than free; hence, the Supreme Court’s role in determining what constitutes free speech. The openness of our lives goes beyond this free speech.

We’re talking about free heart and free spirit, neither of which can be nailed down nor fit neatly in a box that you can point to and know what’s inside.

Some people mistake forced heart and forced spirit for openness. The difference is so subtle, so vague, and the “boundary lines” are constantly moving depending upon atmosphere, timing and involvement of others. Openness, then, can never be right or wrong. It’s how we respond to openness that’s as important as how we respond in kind.

Often, people mistake the raw nature of openness with weakness or vulnerability. Often, we react defensively to people who are mistaken or simply attempting understanding and compassion. We must realize that the defensiveness-after-openness model doesn’t make sense. When we become defensive, we shut down.

These are deeply ingrained behaviors. Moving beyond the way we’ve interacted with others can take a lifetime to budge, but we can experience immediate benefits for ourselves and others if we try something new today. Even if the new way is ever found to reap any benefit, we will undoubtedly return to those deeply ingrained ways of shutting down.

Also, openness cannot be connected to anything or anyone else. It’s a process that unfolds as we learn on the spot. Openness is not about preparation for wickedness; it’s the antidote for it. Like most medicine, the directions for application are specific to the condition it treats. Considering we’re afflicted and conflicted by others and ourselves, an IV-drip of openness might be advisable.

Openness is just that. It’s in our blood. It’s in our DNA. It courses through every moment of our entire existence. Openness has just been blocked by regret, by defensiveness, by the ignorance that has been flowing non-stop since we were born.

Transformation begins with openness to our self and expands to openness to others. Transformation never ends; it continuously opens through us. And, we need only to touch true openness to feel that transformative potential that is within us even now.

Transformation is openness, without regret.

Answers to You: The Human Resistance Factor

One must be careful not to impose one's own interpretations on others. The arrogance of believing that others want to adopt or adapt to an individual's different philosophy is common. Sometimes one must allow others their space, their views, and their choices of how they wish to think...even if it is different from your own.

ar·ro·gance   
offensive display of superiority or self-importance; overbearing pride.
o•ver•bear•ing
1. domineering; dictatorial; haughtily or rudely arrogant.
2. of overwhelming or critical importance.

From dictionary.com

What about the philosophy and the perspective I offer is about imposing views on anyone? If anything, it’s about opening up to “Alternative Perspectives”, not resisting opposing views to my own. You offer up a perfect example of “External Resistance”, which is perfectly understandable why you push back as hard as you do. I feel that you’re pushing against yourself; I could be mistaken. Instead of opening up, you’re shutting down. Once again, it’s very understandable and I’m okay with it.

Arrogance is a curious word to throw around, especially from the supposed target of arrogance. If anything, the arrogance you bring up is actually the other way around, from you at me. And, I don’t say that with any seriousness, but to expose the use of a word that is meant to silence someone instead of opening up to them.

These “power words” are words of intimidation and are very plentiful in today’s society. People paint someone or a cause as a radical, as arrogant, as un-American, as closed-minded (there are many examples) with the sole purpose of shutting them down and winning people to your own side. I’m not on your side or my side; I’m not on any side. The sides you see so clearly are of your own creation.

I’ve discovered that when you don’t get dissuaded by these intimidation tactics, the negativity doesn’t diminish but intensifies to a crescendo. To me this seems like progress. It’s an opportunity to let go of these ideas that others are somehow superior to you or more important than you are. Once again, I’m not telling you what to do, only offering a different path.

I have no feelings of superiority or self-importance to anyone. Simply because you say that I do, does not mean that I do. This is another tactic that people use to try to get a negative reaction to use against the target now and in the future. These are so engrained into our psyche we believe it when we say it and defend the initial assumption furiously.

Rarely, do people let go instead of allowing someone to do something different today or tomorrow. We attempt to conjure up these negative feelings in others in order to keep people away, to give us an excuse to not attempt to think differently, to not do a good thing today. I have and still do these same tactics, but I’m making progress on eliminating them and other emotion-based reactions from myself.

I understand the fear because I’m walking through that fear every single day. There’s ample evidence to fall back to old tactics, but those tactics don’t serve the purpose of the ridding of ignorance from my life. Instead, those tactics pile on the ignorance. I’m opening up, not shutting down.

Being open to a different idea doesn’t mean you accept it completely or at all. You don’t ever have to be open to something different. That is all up to you, and I would not take that choice away from anyone.

Instead of dissecting or discussing the ideas I present, you attack my character because you think all of this is about me. It simply isn’t the case. In fact, the entire context of the article is about letting go of the self, not lifting the self to high-esteem. Even if what I write is all about me, why make it about me? Wouldn’t that compound the problem instead of highlighting the fallacious thinking?

I appreciate the honest emotion and feeling behind your response. I want people to respond honestly and openly as you have done. It’s an opportunity for me to further open up, and that is my goal here. I would hope for anyone to dialogue and discuss what’s written here, and not just intellectually. It is so important to dialogue about the emotional and spiritual response you feel in whatever you do.

Keep it up!

Moving Away from Emotion-Based Tactics

It has become engrained behavior to use emotion-based tactics to help others but more often hurt others. Emotion-based reactions are the simplest to extract from human interaction; we use trigger words or make an action that provokes an emotional response. We are emotional beings who mostly have not explored nor challenged all of our emotional states. That is why these tactics are nearly as successful as they are useful.

People resort to emotion-based tactics when threatened mentally. These tactics often involve the invoking of shame, guilt or anger in the target as opposed to the alternative of opening or broadening personal views.

We all have the urge to hold onto our view instead of adapting or evolving understanding. This is the urge to ignore regardless of evidence to the contrary. Opposing or alien views to our own are not the enemy. When we try to invoke negative and non-productive emotions in others, we, ourselves, are shutting down. We also shut down the target of the tactic simultaneously. We both suffer.

The same can be said of trying to invoke positive and more productive emotions in others. Even though these objectives seem to be done in good will, they are a more seductive form of manipulation. If we’re doing something for someone or reaching out to them, oftentimes we expect them to accept all of it so openly and with relative ease. When people are in need, they’re at their most vulnerable; they’re already shutdown.

When we do something we think is helpful for others, we should just do it without any expectation of them accepting it or “getting it”, ever. Otherwise, we’re setting the person-in-need up for more set ‘em up ‘n tear ‘em down. These people that are in most need are usually the most shut down at the onset. The key in helping those in need is to keep reaching out without becoming the obstacle to healing.

There are other options we can choose. We can first not react emotionally to external events or people. I’m not suggesting ignoring emotions or feelings. I’m suggesting untethering your emotional state to events and others. Secondly, instead of doing things to get a response from others, let’s try to just do good things; for others, for ourselves, for our community, for our environment.

This is not easy. Have patience for yourself. We’re being very ambitious as we take steps to transform our life. This is not easy for anyone. Take a deep breath. Open yourself to another way. You can easily revert back to the old way if this doesn’t work out.

Related Ignorance Ridding Posts
The Emotional Dysregulation Concern

Beginning the Unraveling of Cause and Effect

Making decisions is a critical part of our lives. Yet, we spend little to no effort in the decision-making process in daily life. Applying minimal added consideration to everyday decisions could yield transformative results in our lives.

Occasionally, we are faced with more difficult decisions. Decisions become increasingly difficult when the array of options available accompany predictable, direct and immediate consequences and inaction sustains stagnant pain and suffering.

In even the most mundane of decisions, there are unintended consequences that are possible to probable to predict. For example, the mundane decision of what to eat. We really do not know if what we’re going to eat is going to make us sick; it is always possible but mostly improbable.

With eating and then becoming sick, it is fairly easy to connect cause and effect; mostly, we do not properly connect the two in our lives. When we examine the interaction of physical objects in experiments, it is easier to delineate cause and effect. It is not as simple while exploring cause and effect in human interactions. Here we’re moving away from the day-to-day decisions of what to eat and into the broader life decisions of what to do and how to be.

Attempting to connect cause and effect can go terribly awry. This is especially true with our feelings or emotions. Emotions are not something that can be injected into us by others or by experiences. We have a set of emotions that our experiences trigger and bring to the surface of consciousness. These feelings are not caused by anything or anyone yet many blame external forces for the way they feel.

This is why the endeavor of unraveling cause and effect in our life is a very intense and nearly infinite process. If we truly believe that a cause and effect exists, we should thoroughly challenge that connection and remain open to being mistaken about it. This means being open to information that does not support our current view.

The Pitfalls of Bridging Disagreements

Disagreements happen whenever human beings interact. These disagreements naturally develop due to perception governing reality as opposed to reality governing perception. Sometimes, disagreements are obvious; other times disagreements are hidden to one or all parties. Bridging disagreements is a highly precarious endeavor as all people respond and perceive differently.

We must carefully examine the audience, the histories and the capacities of all involved to develop the most effective, efficient bridging action(s). Even if we consider every aspect of the disagreement and the people involved, the pitfalls in bridging these disagreements are numerous.

Rational Arguments
Using rational thinking to persuade someone of our good intentions and past good acts is a common post-disagreement step for many. However, people in a post-disagreement state of mind commonly are not rational whatsoever. Irrational people are rarely going to be swayed by rational arguments. In fact, a rational argument in this case usually strengthens the feelings of disagreement and can increase the longevity of the situation.

Withdraw/Retreat
Retreat is sometimes necessary immediately after the disagreement has taken place. However, returning quickly to normal behavior and normal treatment can be crucial to a quick bridge through and out of the disagreement. This is especially true if the other side is in full retreat. Denying your input & action is only going to intensify any retreat by the other side. Restarting the relationship with the familiarity of good intentions and in an open-ended way can remind someone of previous good acts. This can quickly bridge the gap between.
Leaving irrational, inexperienced people to figure this out on their own is like placing the inmates in charge of the asylum. The likelihood of irrational thinking becoming rational acting is like an alchemist turning iron into gold, highly unlikely.

Retaining Mindset of Being Right
Oftentimes, all a person need do to bridge a disagreement is a simple acknowledgement of how our inept action led to real or perceived harm. Regardless of our intention, sometimes the party our actions are directed at cannot accept those actions. In fact, the other person might be reacting to internal fears of being mistaken and not the concern or the good will being shown. In repairing the relationship, we must not get caught up in being right or being seen as correct. If apologizing is all the person requires to let go of their own fear or their own role in the disagreement, how could we not offer that without reservation? The goal is to bridge the disagreement, not to be right.

The outcomes can be potentially disastrous when we let others’ actions dictate our involvement. Certainly, we must remain open throughout this process, as conditions can change quickly. Avoiding these common pitfalls is a constant struggle in navigating the difficult circumstances of disagreement. If we continue forward with the relationship, remaining focused on our good intention and remaining open-ended in that intention, we will persevere. We need only be on both sides to do so.

Attempting Understanding In Darkness & Light

We all have a tendency to see all people in terms of darkness & light, for & against, and attachment & aversion. This sets us up for emotion-based reactivity which can create an abundance of unforeseen and avoidable consequences.

When we see things as darkness or light, you look for darkness in anything seemingly good and wholesome. That darkness is yourself; it's your own shadow. In something that is good in our life, we always look for why it's not so good. Once the enamour phase is over, we will find a reason why we must extract that from our lives.

This enamour phase is very alluring. Everything about it is done up in lights and delightful sounds. Orchestras sound great when they play together after practicing very hard. When they are just practicing it sometimes is not so pleasant as the end product. We can put little bitty sparkling lights on anything to make it look better, but has it changed what's underneath those sparkling lights?

Those parts of another person that seems to not fit with us should be thoroughly explored. Insolubility is part of being an individual, but that insolubility is our stubborn attempt at holding onto our view of "me". It is not easy to imagine that all the billions of people on this planet have had a host of their own experiences seen from their own perspective. They may not see what you see so easily; we may not feel what they feel so readily. However, the connection exists.

Nothing can separate us from other people except our mind. So, when we discover attributes or behaviors of others that seem to not coalesce or flow with all of our attributes and behaviors, it is our duty to unravel the perceived differences.

This is called attempting understanding. The more we attempt to understand, the more we will be able to understand.

Trudging Through Uncertain Lives

Our lives are constantly changing. Since our birth, we've been taking in and leaving behind in order to grow and change. Events happen to us and to our environment; we also directly affect our reactions and our environment.

Some people have a direct, hands-on experience of life's uncertainty. We can attempt to find certainty anywhere and fail every time. When we consider anything in our life to be a constant, we set ourselves up for certain disappointment. We've allowed ourselves to become distracted by myths and fantasy and anything but the here and now. This distraction leads to missed opportunities as well as a diminished awareness of current threats.

Imagine you're on a sinking ship. If you're focused on making sure you have an anchor onboard instead of stopping the ship from sinking, you're missing the real threat and not looking for real solutions to that threat.

We're used to looking for that anchor anywhere in our lives and our environment; there's always a reason to not do something. That's what that anchor is, any reason to not focus on right now. Perhaps, this moment right now is completely overwhelming, and the mind is attempting to focus on anything else so we don't feel the truth and the emotional weight of this moment's uncertainty.

Yes, it's scary, but it's the reality of every moment. We need to feel that fear so we can trudge through the uncertainty. Despite any evidence to the contrary, we've been trudging through uncertainty since we've been born. Now is no different; it's just more apparent.

In crisis, if we're focused on anything but this moment, we will not make choices from the highest level of awareness. This lack of awareness will make our choices dull and ineffective instead of sharp and focused.

Raise the bar of your awareness, raise the bar of your effectiveness.