Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Working with Negative and Manipulative People

"I really try to avoid people who are negative and manipulative.......just don't need that... "

I understand what you say about negative and manipulative people. The truth is you can never rid yourself of those people. Especially, in a city where there are people wherever you go and all around you, but also in rural communities or even living in the woods.

People are only negative and manipulative because they do not know any better. The key with working with negative and manipulative people is to not get caught up in their ignorance, their lack of self-knowledge. How do I do this? By getting rid of my attachment and expectation for these people to do any different.

People are manipulative because they think that you have something that they don't have, and they will do anything to get it. That's what truth can create in one's life. People trying to swoop in and tear it out for themselves. They do not see the truth as being within their life right this moment.

That is why we should be open with our current version of the truth, because it isn't truth at all. It's our best effort right this moment, and it's all we have to offer ourselves or anyone else. The only way to get at the truth is to ventilate it.

There are moments when it becomes problematic and even dangerous to work with negative and manipulative people. Recently, we had a severe short circuit of our approach. What happened was we attempted to run away from someone. In the act of running away, we neglected to consider what we were running towards. That's what happens when we get attached, we suffer. We could not handle someone being a human being, and we wanted to get away from that person.

In these more difficult moments, do not run. If you feel as if you must run, there's too much of yourself involved in what's going on with the person. Take a moment to realize that their issue is not your own. Sometimes, there are no answers for a person who is not open to answers. We must allow a person to do something different. If we do need to escape due to our incomplete understanding and patience, do not jump into the next available person or situation. Realize that we allowed ourselves to get caught up and not get caught up with someone or something different in the next moment.

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