Wednesday, May 29, 2013

The Anger Within

We all become upset and frustrated. When we do, the mind wants to act out this frustration. Instead of compassion for ourselves, we create a target. This can be an external target or the target can also be our self; destructive or self-destructive potentials co-exist. Instead of being patient, we become uptight and lash out. Or, we use every frustration as a way to demean ourselves or others. Instead of attempting understanding, the mind jumps from being present to auto-pilot, often instantaneously.

If we’re constantly losing it and then lashing out at ourselves or our environment, we need to interrupt this cycle. There are simple things we can do to achieve this interruption and return us to being present. First, we should explore this feeling called anger.

What is present in every instance that we’ve ever been angry? We are. It is understandable to disagree with this, and if we do disagree, we should challenge ourselves to find one instance where we weren’t present when we were angry. Certainly, conditions are constantly in flux as are the people living within those conditions. However, we are the only common thread in every instance of anger.

When we realize that this anger is part of us, we gain some ownership and care over it. This is not easy to do, especially in the hot heat of anger. Consistently, we would much rather someone else to be the source or cause of our anger. It is true that an external person’s actions may water the seed of anger within us, but this can only happen when we don’t have adequate compassion for ourselves and others.

If we experience the truth directly about any situation, it makes it immediately manageable. There is anger within us. It’s ours to take care of, and we cannot exile it from our lives. When we experience anger, we should take care of it instead. When someone is watering the seed of anger within us, we need to apply understanding and compassion: understanding that the anger is ours, not theirs; compassion that the watering originates from a place of pain, suffering and ignorance.

It is, after all, our own ignorance that believes that others make us angry. They only expose the anger that’s already with us. We must also be aware that the anger we’ve not adequately taken care of in the past has watered the seed of anger in others. As we begin to care for our anger, we will eventually let it loose on others once again. When we do water the seed of anger in others, we must understand this can be redirected in our direction and can infect our environment. In these aftermath moments when our anger is being watered as a direct result of what we’ve said or done, it is difficult to not react similarly, perpetuating the cycle.

We can break this cycle. And, we are the only ones that can. Our anger is truly our own. We must not only have an intellectual understanding that this is true, but we must also learn to believe it at an ever deepening emotional level. As we begin to see the reality of our anger more clearly, our anger won’t be watered so often. We’ll begin to take care of our anger instead of conditions and others controlling us. With ever diminishing frequency, we won’t water the seed of anger in others. We will see anger for what it actually is, just a seed within us that needs care and attention.

Other Ridding of Ignorance Articles on Anger
Making Room for Anger
Your Role in Your State of Mind
The Power from the Seat of Frustration

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1 comment:

  1. I needed to read this exact essay at this very moment. Thank you.