Finding Strength Within Emotional Intensity, Part Two

The intensity of some emotional experiences can be uplifting or utterly debilitating. Learning how to chart the intensity zones within garners true strength toward living, propelling and motivating us forward.

• Beginning to Let Go of Emotional Reactivity

The exploration and embrace of our emotional system is a dynamic experience. This experience evolves as our emotional intelligence evolves. It is our reactivity to the intensity of our emotions that is most difficult to let go. Reactivity is a defense mechanism to push back on this input stream, to shut it down.

In striving to shut down that internal defensive process, patience is essential. This is similar to climbing out of the hole we dug for ourselves. We went into that hole for a reason or a set of reasons. Part of climbing out of that hole is contemplating what led us into it, what kept us inside of it and what comfort and security we receive while staying in that hole.

We must understand that wherever we find ourselves, it is okay. We don’t have to hide from where we are. It is that hiding from our reality that keeps us in our hole. We may not feel comfortable or secure in that dark place inside of us, but the comfort and security is there.

It’s the comfort from no exertion, from no risk. It’s the security of not letting this beautiful spirit and loving heart out into the world, to touch and heal all we encounter. It’s the heartfelt wish for all others to be free from pain, to be free from suffering.

Staying in that hole has kept us from putting action and intention toward that goal. It is the pain of the realization of our inattention in this pursuit that is extremely intense and difficult to embrace. We must feel that pain, completely. It’s a pain that all of us share. Pushing that pain away pushed us into our hole, keeping us from living for a better life, a better community and a better world.

If we had been active in this intent throughout this life, the world would be a much different place.
We don’t have to deny the world any longer.
We don’t have to deny ourselves any longer.

Follow this series.Finding Strength Within Emotional Intensity, Part One

The Responsibility in Not

“I may have lost a month, but I do not have to lose another.”
Taking responsibility can be helpful, destructive or meaningless. Intentions and actions are critical fuels for taking responsibility. Often, we consider only actions with regard to our responsibilities in life. The role of inaction in our lives and the lives of others in our community takes a far greater toll and is a far heavier weight than most realize.

It is through inaction that abusive situations are allowed to fester and infect the community. It is through inaction that beneficial energies are never collected and spread to those in need. It is through inaction that distances us from doing anything with this extraordinary opportunity called life and living.

Truly, the worthiness of life is dictated by what we do not choose to do. Our capacity and worth are limitless qualities. The only limits we place on that capacity are self-constructed. By not doing anything, we save ourselves from culpability by others. This does not save us from the responsibility from doing nothing; it only saves us from risking what we have, risking the comfortable conditions we may feel we must have and risking being mistaken or seen as not perfect.

Any bit of comfort and security we enjoy are illusory. None of it is substantial or lasting. Resting in this state creates a logjam in the river of potential and possibility. The comfort and security we so wish to hold onto with all that we do and don’t do makes freedom and joy less likely to develop, and not only just for ourselves but for others as well.

Risk and responsibility are connected.

It is a risk to explore what stymies me.
It is a risk to do so with open heart and open mind.
It is a risk to let go of not doing anything.
It is my responsibility to see this through.

Out of the Padded Room: From Intention to Action

“Life can become rigid. It can also become pliable.”

If we consider for only a minute at the end of our day what we wish to accomplish when next we wake, we can begin to open our life in an entirely new set of directions. This “new set” has always been possible and despite what we do or don’t do, it is always within reach. We embark on this “new set” on our own terms.

This new ownership and direction is an eye-opener for many as we may have been filling our day with numerous actions and activities with no intention or direction, maybe even nourishment without any conceivable benefit.

What is the intention behind all of our actions today? What is it that we’re really after?

Are we checking someone else’s boxes for our life, or do we directly determine what boxes we wish to set out to check this day?

These are all critical questions that mostly are left to linger in the backs of our minds. Rarely do we even listen to these concerns. Even rarer do we bother to search our actions for any relevance in our daily living. We’ve locked away our living potential in a padded room.

Some of our activities are about nourishing ourselves or others, but if we do not set out the energy of intention that fuels all those activities, we’re placing all of that nourishment in a padded room. It’s as if we’ve been watering a plant in a room with no light; it’s not going to grow much, if at all. Also, we are unable to tell when we’ve added too much water. We may just be drowning what we wish to grow.

One can do much when locked away in a life of comfort and security without ever leaving that padded room. Oblivious to the events going on outside of our padded existence is like remaining in a burning building and wondering why it is that we’re suffocating without ever venturing out of supposed comfort to discover the answers.

How do we get out of this situation?

Unlocking that door requires looking for the key. The key is here with us right now, hidden in our padded room. Intention is like a light source, allowing us to find the key we threw into the darkness of futility. Do we turn it on?

We must tread carefully here. Lack of fulfillment of our intentions can be quite the weapon at keeping us down. Perhaps, our intentions are a bit diffuse or a bit too concrete. We must explore these intentions thoroughly.

What about what we want to do is unrealistic or even unhealthy? What about what we can do right here and now is not fulfilling? What are we doing? Why are we doing it?

Challenge your intentions thoroughly, but do not allow the challenge to diminish your capacity. We’re looking for what is possible now, not some outlandish ethereal dream. Perhaps, we will find a path to that Olympian existence in the clouds at the height of the mountain, but we must triumph over today in order to begin that journey to greatness. We need hiking gear and elements of sustenance.

Simple exposure of our intentions is the first step. Then, we set out on the actions and activities to fulfill those intentions. Some people have the best of intentions but rarely examine how best to actualize these in any real way. If we don’t construct a path to reach what we want in our life, we wait for someone else or some “higher power” to deliver them to us, becoming upset at those other people and other powers when nothing changes.

What works and what doesn’t can change from day to day, season to season, place to place. If we expect a walk in the park to provide relief always, we’re ignoring the reality of stormy days, dark and lonely nights and a bitter, cold winter blizzard. We must not become stubborn in our movement forward.

The ritual of coffee brewing can be highly charging for the day. However, some days there simply are no beans to grind. Can we really reason it out that without coffee we cannot function? This is another pitfall: getting stuck by the comfort of the padding of our room.

Becoming open to this present moment is a simple concept, but it is much more difficult to apply adequately and thoroughly. Deciphering if yesterday’s nourishment is today’s numbing agent is extremely difficult, as what wakes us up can also put us to bed. Determining the difference is critical in moving forward. The difference is our mental effort involved in what we’re doing. That effort is our intention behind everything that we do and don’t do.

Step by step, day by day we’ll begin to see what has little relevance to meeting our objectives. As we begin this ongoing dialogue with our day, we’ll find new ways of living. It is a natural outgrowth from connecting intentions with actions. The lines of cause and effect are difficult to decipher, yet imagine if we can find just one of those lines. Once we see how cause and effect interact with our life we can begin to affect both.

Can we remain in the padded room that has become our life? It might not feel like the cushy existence because we yearn not only for more but to do more. The padded room is painful for that reason alone.

We know there’s much to do. The building is on fire. Will we just stand by in our own darkness, suffocating on our ineffectiveness and disconnectedness? Or, are we going to discover our way out of the confines of our padded room living?

Can we not apply a minimum of effort? Can we not take that one minute at the end of the day to imagine what we want to accomplish when next we wake?

In-between the Bookends

The day is filled with thoughts and feelings. These tumble one after another, sometimes forming synergistic experiences. We attempt to label these special experiences with words, like ecstasy, trauma, bliss, synergistic, special. None of these words could ever accurately describe the actual experience. It is something one must directly experience and witness for oneself.

There are actual activities and atmospheres that can yield paths to these direct experiences. The paths all lead to the same place, a deep mental and emotional connection to the present moment. This means the capacity is omnipresent; it is right here, right now, always.

What is it that blocks us from these extra ordinary, direct experiences of thought and feeling? It is our ignorance, our mistakenness. Both direct experience AND mistakenness are concurrently existent. Through awareness of our mistakenness we open the door to direct experience.

Awareness is not judgmental. Awareness is openness. It is not about right. It is not about wrong. Simply, awareness just is. It is in every thing and every one and is within this very moment.

The allure of these synergistic experiences can also close down that awareness. Too easily, we become attached to the greatness in ecstasy and bliss. This attachment denies us continued awareness and simultaneously closes the door on openness.

We also block less “feeling good” emotions and thoughts with aversive measures. Aversion is our mental reaction to not having it our way.
Between the two bookends of attachment and aversion, the vacuum of our self takes hold.

Our mind was designed for awareness, not for vacancy. It is this vacuum of self, the space between attachment and aversion, which is the barrier for direct experience. We’ve created a logjam within the universe, attempting to hold onto what we want and pushing off what we do not. In these synergistic moments, the logjam has been dislodged, if only for just a moment.

Imagine removing this logjam intentionally. Only we can remove the barrier of the idea of our self. Through exploration and awareness of this vacuum we can begin its purposeful removal.

Relax and Relieve, Shed and Open

As I relax, my body relaxes.

Tears Shed.
Our Grip Begins to Loosen.
The Universe Begins to Open.

My body is a physical form in a constant state of change. It is not a form, though; it is an attempt to hold matter and energy together, connected autonomously.

Tears Shed.
Our Grip Loosens Further.
The Universe Opens.

When I consider allowing someone to use their hands and their intention on my body in a loving, healing way, we just cannot comprehend how anyone ever would.

Tears Shed.
Our Grip Loosens Further.
The Universe Opens.

How could anyone love this, want good for this? How could anyone wish any relief for me?

Tears Shed.
Our Grip Loosens Further.
The Universe Opens.

How could I ever accept what I cannot understand?

Tears Shed.
Our Grip Loosens Further.
The Universe Opens.

Keep Trying.
Attempt Understanding Always.
Loosen Your Grip.
Shed Your Tears.
Open Yourself Up.
Rediscover Your Universe.

Uncover Our Role in Our States of Living

Every one of us is looking for a few basic things. We want to feel good and we don’t want to feel bad. This is the difference between peace & happiness and pain & suffering. We should remain open to understanding how these states of living (peace, happiness, pain and suffering) develop in our life.

What brings about these states of living? Where do they come from? How can we affect these states? Why do they exist? When will it end?

Connecting cause and effect is critical to transforming our life. The only way to transform our life is to develop a deep understanding of our direct role in the development and experience of each of these states of living. There’s much we do every day to maximize the good and minimize the bad, we just fumble the ball, pay little to no attention and don't challenge our view of it whatsoever.

Elaborate orchestrations do not create peace and happiness.
Events and traumas do not create pain and suffering.

The mind is what highlights the states of living. The mind focuses on one set over the other set, and can move from one to another quickly. Realizing the powerful role our minds have in every bit of this process begins to place the wheel back in our hands.

When we suffer, instead of just being miserable with it, be curious about how the suffering develops and sustains itself. What are the factors that govern the development and the disipation of the suffering? How can we interrupt the development and quicken the rate of disipation?

When we're happy, really challenge the origin of that happiness. Is it somehow injected into us from some external source, or is it always underlying every moment of our existence and we just don't acknowledge it or actively ignore it? How many times have we felt happy and instead of embracing this state of mind, we push it away and attempt to silence it?

It can be scary to feel sustained happiness. It wakens up our mind and our awareness, and there's plenty we've ignored and for far too long. The flood of awareness can be overwhelming, so instead of focusing that awareness we shut it down completely.

Let us nurture all of our states of living. Let us get to know each.
Let us uncover our natural state and embrace it openly.
Let us have patience as we explore this wonder we call life.
Let us just be.

Consider This: The Breathing Connection

“Let this crisp spring day put a spring in your step.”

There’s goodness in every step we take and everything we do. That goodness goes beyond our own life, as the stream in and out of us firmly links us directly into the fabric of everything that makes up this universe.

In order to live, we must take breaths fairly consistently, all day and all night, aware or unaware. We can take those breaths for granted because breathing happens naturally and without any conscious effort.

•Breathing is our direct connection with the universe
•Breathing is our constant giving-and-taking link with everything and everyone
•Breathing imbeds us into the cyclic nature of life, matter and energy

We’ve been constantly giving and taking to and from the universe since before we were born. Mostly, we don’t recognize all the taking and we mostly ignore all our giving.

Taking from the universe continuously nourishes and supports this exchange. It’s the nourishment and support we consciously offer in return that can transform existence by consciously re-ordering it.

Cherish and explore your universal connection.
Imagine every breath you take meaning something--- because it really does.

Considering Daily Living Differently

Our actions and behaviors in our daily life are usually ignored as a source of change. Instead, we use our minds to create intricate and complex dreams and nightmares, not only of the future but of our past as well. Constantly, we are book-shelving this day with a future that doesn’t exist and a past that no longer does.

If that reality is too unbelievable, we can still gain much by considering our daily living differently.

It is simple to make transformative change as we do not have to obliterate our dreams of our future or our memories of yesterday in order to create change this day. We simply need to focus on what we do every day.

We have been led to believe so much that may or may not be true. The truth is that there are countless options of what we could do every day.

From the way we wake up, to the way we rest and sleep. From the way we eat, to the way we get rid of what we eat. From what brings us relief, to what drains our resources. Each of these options plays a critical role in what we can do and how we can do it. Yet, we apply minimal mental resources to these day-to-day operations.

Every single day, we’re missing countless opportunities to increase our capacity by decreasing inefficient and ineffective habits and activities. We all need to eat, but what we eat and what we don’t eat has a direct impact on how we feel and how we think.

Food allergies are a perfect example of this. If you have an allergy to some ingredient in what you are eating, it can completely diminish physical and mental resources by creating both immediate and long-term consequences.

Our daily life may be filled with many of these life-allergens that we choose without even realizing we’re making a choice. Each step we take in our day has significance, if we believe it or not. We could not get to work if not for each and every step taken thus far. It could be that we’re taking too many steps when less would do. The only way to discover better ways is to attempt something different.

There are many different paths to the same place. Say we’re in Los Angeles and we want to go to New York City. There are many ways to make that happen; some make sense, some are ridiculous.

We could fly non-stop directly to our destination. Or, we could go the exact opposite direction and fly the other way around the world and get to the same place. The end of the journey is the same, yet the journey itself is completely different. One is certainly much more efficient than the other, unless you need to pick up some rare Chinese herb in Hong Kong that you can get nowhere else.

Take one aspect of your daily life today and challenge how you approach that aspect.
Initially, become familiar with the choices you take regarding that aspect.
Then, note all the streams leading into that choice and all the consequences that lead from it.
Consider changes, contemplate potential outcomes, witness direct impact.

Begin to access your personal power right here, right now.

Openness, Without Regret

The society in which we find ourselves appears on the surface to be open; it has the appearance of free speech. The truth is more murky than free; hence, the Supreme Court’s role in determining what constitutes free speech. The openness of our lives goes beyond this free speech.

We’re talking about free heart and free spirit, neither of which can be nailed down nor fit neatly in a box that you can point to and know what’s inside.

Some people mistake forced heart and forced spirit for openness. The difference is so subtle, so vague, and the “boundary lines” are constantly moving depending upon atmosphere, timing and involvement of others. Openness, then, can never be right or wrong. It’s how we respond to openness that’s as important as how we respond in kind.

Often, people mistake the raw nature of openness with weakness or vulnerability. Often, we react defensively to people who are mistaken or simply attempting understanding and compassion. We must realize that the defensiveness-after-openness model doesn’t make sense. When we become defensive, we shut down.

These are deeply ingrained behaviors. Moving beyond the way we’ve interacted with others can take a lifetime to budge, but we can experience immediate benefits for ourselves and others if we try something new today. Even if the new way is ever found to reap any benefit, we will undoubtedly return to those deeply ingrained ways of shutting down.

Also, openness cannot be connected to anything or anyone else. It’s a process that unfolds as we learn on the spot. Openness is not about preparation for wickedness; it’s the antidote for it. Like most medicine, the directions for application are specific to the condition it treats. Considering we’re afflicted and conflicted by others and ourselves, an IV-drip of openness might be advisable.

Openness is just that. It’s in our blood. It’s in our DNA. It courses through every moment of our entire existence. Openness has just been blocked by regret, by defensiveness, by the ignorance that has been flowing non-stop since we were born.

Transformation begins with openness to our self and expands to openness to others. Transformation never ends; it continuously opens through us. And, we need only to touch true openness to feel that transformative potential that is within us even now.

Transformation is openness, without regret.

The Human Resistance Factor

Resistance is a human phenomenon derived from a natural survival instinct. Now, this human resistance factor mostly acts against our inner well-being; inner well-being exists regardless of any conditions, externally or internally. We’ve still been fighting, not for the survival of our life but for the survival of the self.

This fight is what we must let go. It is this fight that denies us inner contentment, peace and spontaneous joy. These are always with us in every moment; we need only let go to connect completely to this natural state.

There are many areas affected by our human resistance factor. We resist change, consequences, alternative perspectives and certain stimuli. Dissecting the effect of these areas of resistance is ongoing. Also, we begin a conversation on explorative resistance as it relates to not just ourselves but others as well.

Change

Change is all around us and inside of us. Change is constant, whether we’re aware of it or not. It’s our resistance to natural change that can completely obstruct us from enjoying this moment. Think of all the times and all the people that resist against the change inherent in the weather. There are occasions when weather does intersect with our survival; these occasions are rare, extreme and usually quite obvious. We do have a long-term impact on the weather, but in this moment we have minimal if any effect on current weather. To make weather an obstacle to joy, peace and contentment, then, is a self-induced situation. Only we can rid ourselves of that obstacle by realizing we’re not going to have it our way.

Beyond the external changes, the changes inside of us should not be ignored. We should not resist the day-to-day changes that are inherently part of daily maintenance and aging of the body. Here, the notable changes are trends and not the details of the changing current state. Aches and pains are normal; fluctuating bodily functions are normal. Resisting these normal states actively with external methods can create a multitude of consequences, some predictable, some much more subtle.

Sometimes, medical intervention is necessary. When we decide on a medical intervention, we should not resist against the side effects of the intervention. Instead, we could make those side effects work for us, not against us.

Consequences

Resisting consequences extends the damage and the longevity of those consequences in our daily life. Also, it leaves us ill-prepared for the potential and probable slate of unintended consequences to the initial action. Consider that we’ve made a tough but necessary call and now we’re focused on the pain and suffering that decision exposes us to. In the aftermath of these decisive moments, we should avoid resisting any consequences. If we are not open to the consequences, we cannot completely catalog these.

We are resistant to not only consequences of our own decisions, but to the natural consequences of living in a changing world. A tornado creates amazing devastation. We don’t just leave the devastation; we perform salvage operations to extract what still has use and clear away what no longer does. This may be emotionally or even physically difficult, but if we focus on those difficulties to natural disaster instead of actively engaging in the salvaging of the wreckage, we’re not as efficient or effective as we could be.

There are consequences to ownership and stewardship as well. A house has maintenance requirements just as a car does. By being resistant to these concerns, usually the consequences grow more severe.

Don’t ignore consequences; work with consequences. We determine how we navigate all of the consequences in our life. Learning to work with what’s going on is so critical to making life work with us as opposed to against us.

Certain Stimuli

We all have blind spots in our intake of sensory information. Physical limitations do exist in our sensory apparatus; total loss or limitations may exist in hearing, taste, touch, smell and sight. Other limitations do exist. These limitations are self-imposed blind spots and can be evidence of the unwillingness to let go. It’s as if we’re using only the rearview mirror in navigating our vehicle. The vehicle, here, is not just our body but our entire life. It sometimes works out, but when it doesn’t the damage can be severe.

Besides the obvious physical sensory information, we sometimes are blind to emotional cues from others and of ourselves. We try to overwhelm these emotional cues with distraction, overstimulation and ignorance. We can use distraction to avoid awkward discussions, emotional topics or controversial debates. Overstimulation is used to silence anyone or anything else. And, when someone brings about empathy or a guttural emotional reaction, one option is to ignore it completely. Instead of simply listening to every word, we offer nothing productive whatsoever.

We also have blind spots to our own emotional cues. This is similar to when we place our hand on a scalding hot stove and not reacting immediately by removing our hand; it makes no sense. Emotions act similarly as the nerve endings in your hand; emotions are trying to tell us something about what’s happening. We must begin to become aware of our emotions and attempt to understand what it is these emotions are trying to tell us.

Alternate Perspectives

We also resist against alternative perspectives to our immediate and past circumstance. This is due to our self-limiting view of reality. The more perspective we can apply to a situation, the more effective and efficient our response. We want to use telescopes and microscopes as well as our own senses. When and how you examine something depends on what it is being examined. When examining the moon, we use microscopes to examine lunar rocks brought back to earth and use telescopes to examine the actual moon orbiting the Earth. We want to use the most effective perspectives for the current situation.

Perspective isn’t just about the method of examination. Sometimes, it’s the broader timeline that’s important not to forget. It’s like eliminating a person from your life without looking at the bigger picture. Maybe, this person is in the midst of a crisis, internal or external. If we refuse to look beyond this moment, we can begin eliminating people from our life because of one unfortunate moment brought about by a series of circumstances and situations. Once again, trends are more important than exacting the response or the action that we feel we need from someone right now.

Explorative and External Resistance

Explorative resistance can have a productive and probative value, especially if this resistance is against your own self and your own view. Here we discover the fine line in resistance. Mostly, the resistance to change, to consequences, to stimuli and to alternative perspectives is an internal resistant problem to external events. Resistance plays a critical role in the transformation of life. The key is to not attach value judgements to that explorative action and to avoid the pitfalls of guilt and shame.

We also must be careful in explorative resistance to other people’s situations. These other people may not be open to doing anything differently in their lives. This doesn’t mean not to use explorative engagement as an attempt to alleviate current pain and suffering of others.

We must be prepared, however, for the inevitable resistance by anyone, including ourselves, as we attempt to help or actively understand ourselves and others. We must be prepared of the natural human resistance to transformation. After all, it is human to resist.

Beyond Senses to Open Moments

The present is an expression of the soul. Holding onto this moment is the only expression of time. When we relax and allow this moment to expire, we open up to any other moment, to any other possibility or potential.

This light we seek is but a glimmer of what is; it is but a glimmer of what surrounds us and makes us who and what we are. Something you see could never be the truth. Nothing you ever will hear or touch could ever be the truth. Sensory consciousness is not truth; it is but a glimpse into our anti-nature.

At our core, we are a raw opening; open to all, part of all. Our core seeks recognition through our senses; it seeks acknowledgement. "Yes, I exist!" At our core we are neither.

All we see, hear, touch, smell and taste is an expression of us, but only through our absence. When we seek with our senses alone, that is all we find. Imagine to seek other than what your senses could ever provide. It is other than that which is our true nature. May we open up to that true nature today.

Unrestrained Freedom Crisis

Structure, as hampering as it can be on new progress, is critical to building upon previous progress. Unrestrained freedom can yield very destructive consequences. Finding a balance between these competing principles is a constant struggle for us.

A productive, unsuffocated daily structure requires much maintenance and discipline as well as openness and flexibility. The objective is to create a dynamic system in which to live our life. The more complicated the system, the more intensive analysis necessary to maintain it.

That is why we're focused on creating the most simple system possible within the current social structure. Any life within modern day society requires intensive analysis, no matter how simple it is. Too much structure stifles a person. Too little destroys any progress.

It is the lack of an analytical arm in our daily activities that we've been missing. Without it, we've been adrift, momentarily finding valid points. Without structure and analysis of those progressive efforts, we're blind to the potential they offer us and others. We can do this. We must only try.

Nourishing Human Spirit

Difficulties and frustrations seem to surround us. Obstacles continue to be found directly in our path whichever way we go. We find ourselves in a solution and resolution drought.

When we find ourselves in any or all of these experiences, returning attention towards the nourishment of your spirit is necessary. We often forget that no one can take away the way we feel and think about our life. Both feeling and thinking reside wholly within ourselves.

We may have talked to someone who has been in the pit of hell and who feels and thinks that everything is terrible and awful. It does not matter what we say or do for this person, we cannot alleviate his or her pain and suffering. We cannot make him or her feel differently about the current predicament. The same can be said of someone who has a good outlook on his or her life. Nothing can truly stop us from feeling good about our lives.

Certainly, there are a myriad of ways that we can perceive the experiences that are possible. The way we feel and think about those experiences is up to us. We can find them full of misery and that there are no alternatives. We can find them full of experiential information and as offerings of opportunities for growth and learning.

When all that fails, as it will do, we need to remain focused on nourishing our spirit. This nourishment can come from interaction with others, but that interaction is never something to depend upon for all time. If we make that nourishment directed by ourselves, than we always have a spirit refueling station, right here, right now.

Surround yourself with good ways to take good care of you; good ways to remind yourself and your subconcious that you deserve as good as you give and that you can weather any situation. I'm talking about the basics. This does not have to be expensive or cost anything.

Think simple. Consider what you must do everyday or nearly everyday and create ways to make those everyday occurrences special and healing.

Think simple. Think everyday. Offer those self-nourishments to others.

Often, we can get lost in all the dark, scary clouds that are on the horizon, leaving the area or right on top of us. If we train ourselves for daily nourishment, past, present and future won't be these looming troubles anymore. We'll return to our daily nourishment and move on with pure heart and calm mind.

Emptiness Talk 3

If emptiness is not a lack of something needed, then is it a lack of balance in one's life? For all life consists of a multitude of feelings, including joy and pain; therefore, if there is not balance between the two, is their a vacuum needing filled? Is not having balance having strength??

Life is naturally balanced between birth and death. Many bits and many pieces continue to come together and fall apart to make up what we believe to be ourselves. If you really attempt to find what you call "me", can you ever actually find it?

Examine this with everything you encounter. Can we find anything that stands alone and never changes or alters itself in anyway? Even seemingly ever present fixtures in our life, such as the sun, are really the most dynamic of systems. Our bodies are the same. We take in, we defecate, we grow, we wither.

This emptiness is not a lack of something; it is everything and everyone. It's what makes up all matter and all life. Vacuum or filled space are both examples of emptiness. It's our mistaken view that what we see and what we touch is the way we perceive it to be. All these feelings we feel, these thoughts we have, ebb and flow throughout existence.

When we continuously try to focus on this solid identity we feel we have, we suffer and experience pain because it is not reality. Letting go of me and embracing the reality of our own emptiness is an amazing process. If you can find you, work with that. If you cannot, work with that.

Follow the Emptiness Talk series
Emptiness Talk 2
Emptiness Talk

The Accountability Concern

In order to maintain personal accountability, too often we surround ourselves with people who we blame when our house falls apart and when events do not go our way. We do not want to take responsibility for what happens to us, so we make certain someone is always there to blame.

Blame can be very subtle. When the offender is someone we don't really know or some nefarious "they" that's out there pulling our strings and mashing our buttons, we've accepted the situation as out of our control to change. This seems a misfortunate perspective with little room for relief or resolution.

Another accountability concern happens in our careers and our jobs. Too often it seems management will surround themselves with people who are "yes" people, people who will not challenge their view intellectually or substantially. Most in management seem to not want to think or rethink what they're doing at all. We can see examples of this throughout government, throughout institutions and throughout the business world.

Oftentimes, we have very unfortunate ideas that are mistaken and based upon ignorant views of reality. If we only allow people who agree with our view in our management team and in our support team, we assist ourselves in our own downfall. Our mistaken perceptions and actions riddle our lives and our goals with damages and consequences.

People make decisions every moment that affect so many people; all of us do. Our lives are deeply connected, and where one suffers needlessly, we all suffer needlessly. When we don't see our decisions as affecting more than right now and more than just ourself, we've lost touch with our personal power, yet wield that power so carelessly and callously.

A large sector of our human society is in this destructive potential zone. We can see the consequences all around us and the consequences have been felt for years. From the BP Gulf Oil Spill to the Alberta Oil Spill; from the Hurricane Katrina Disaster to the unfinished recovery of the Gulf Coast; from the multiple mining catastrophes to the numerous crane collapses; from the state of our public schools to the malicious state of our politics; from the Wall Street crisis to the faltering economy.

Despite the growing list of crises and our man-made disasters, I see enormous human potential wherever I look. We can truly recover from anything, and our species can adapt to any environment.

We can make different decisions as an individual and provide a working example of another way to approach our days and our problems. When wronged by another, we cannot continue the wrong/right cycle and instead thank another for the opportunity to break that cycle within ourselves.

It is far too easy to "right" the wrongs done to us by others. It's much easier to "right" the wrongs we've done to ourself. Usually in "righting" the wrong we do wrong. How is that ever the "right" thing to do? Who is ever going to stop this vicious cycle if we don't stop it within our own life first?

If we continue holding others accountable for our failures and our mistaken judgements, we are losing focus on what good we can do this day. Regardless of what happens to us, we are the ultimate person accountable to how we respond to our life. Our response is much more powerful than what just became our past.

Watch how you respond to your day and your life.
Wonder how that response affects yourself and others.
Witness your transformation.

The Waiting for Perfect Conditions and Perfect People Dilemma

We hear it all the time, reasons to not make something of this life of ours.

Must wait for life to calm down, for this bill to be paid, for my body to heal completely. We must wait to feel good, feel secure, feel desired, feel complete. The sun must be out, it cannot be too hot, and for sure it can't be humid. Shouldn't be too cold, either, nor windy, nor gloomy. "I must be in top physical and emotional condition."

Just if, then.

We have to have the perfect people to help our efforts perfectly. Perfect people who will easily accept what we're offering, what we're saying or above all what we're doing. "There's no one to listen, to receive. No one wants what I have to offer."

Just if, then.

So, we just continue to live the same, grinding existence, waiting for the perfect time and the perfect people. Will we ever do anything of consequence at anytime for anyone?

As long as we wait for perfection, we're ignoring the perfection of our present. You are the perfect person for the perfect time of right now. We need to believe in ourselves, work with what we have and do something, anything, right this moment, not just for ourselves but for others.

Every Day is the Same Day

As the sun rises on this, my last morning, I feel renewed optimism of what I can do for others, how I can manage my issues to make that effort increasingly effective and more efficient.

Everyday is the same day, but every day can be a new effort, a new goal, a new belief. We just have to apply this effort joyously, reach for a goal effortlessly and believe that we can make this life work for the benefit of all.

Bless you, Bless this land, Bless this community.
From every sunrise, through every sunset and into the night.

Touching on the Basic Goodness of Your Life

When we're doing something we enjoy or see something beautiful, we feel good inside. What we're feeling in those moments is our own goodness. It's that basic goodness that connects everything in the universe that we're resonating with in those good feeling moments. For some reason we find it easier to see that basic goodness in settings, activities or even other people then we do to see that within ourselves everyday of our life.

For instance, you walk through a nature park. You see the sun, the clouds the beautiful blue sky; you see the waving trees, as if they're waving to you, the flowing grasses too. You think, this is what makes me feel good. That goodness was already inside of you, but the goodness of a natural setting is too obvious to not take note and treasure. We should also treasure the basic goodness that is at the core of our human experience in anyway we can. If that means taking a walk in the woods, then that's what we need to do.

Stacking our day with these moments of basic goodness can provide us with a wealth that is always replenishable and is beyond any object, place or person. Objects are lost, places can be bulldozed or burnt, people die and perish. If we see that our good feeling is attached to what brings it out of us, when something happens to that object, place or person we'll suffer immensely. Yet, the basic goodness of our existence remains.

As long as we continue to see how we feel as being directed by external forces, we'll always be dependent on conditions going our way. If feelings truly originate from outside of us, what can we ever do to make our lives better? Will we be like a flag on a pole whipping in whatever way the winds blows, never going anywhere?

Be curious about your feelings, explore them thoroughly, thoughtfully and continuously. If we begin to be curious about where these feelings originate, you'll find your own truth about it.

Returning to the Seat of Joy

7.5
Don't you see how one by one
Death comes to claim your fellow men?
And yet you slumber on so soundly,
Like a buffalo beside its butcher
--Shantideva
No Time to Lose: A Timely Guide to the Way of the Bodhisattva, Pema Chodron

We feel as if the universe has been screaming at us because we have wasted so much of this blessed opportunity that we call our life. Despite our countless misteps, we remain here and still maintain the capacity to be effectively meaningful. Yet, we have no lasting momentum in this enterprise. A few consecutive moments, here and there, with a great void in-between.

What we desire to do is to consistently and always truly see others. Not what they're saying or doing or even how they feel, but what is covered up by all those words, acts and feelings. It has been a continuous struggle of late to truly listen to anyone, especially ourselves. Today, we may have seen a small bit of progress. It was the state of joy we've kept with us since waking up that was the difference-maker.

At least we're struggling to do this, right? We still have a will to work against the common nuisance that is our life. Isn't that the proper answer to the frustrations of our day?

I'm beginning to disagree. We must learn to let go of this struggle and work with what we're given in this very moment, instead of trying to make life look or feel different than the reality that it is. The way it appears will change, just as the way we feel about it will change. There's no stopping the constant flux of thoughts and emotions, so we must move out of this fluctuating clump of matter and experience that we call me or we.

We need to learn how to interact despite the mistaken thinking, despite our emotional responsive nature. It's maintaining a state of joy. Joy is the energy of being open to new information without getting attached to the information. It's about enjoying whatever it is that's happening to us or around us; not controlling anything or anyone.

Any control we imagine we do have is an illusion.
None of what we will ever do will be anything but an attempt to deny that illusion.

We are letting go of the struggle.
We are letting go of the outcomes.
We are letting go of the illusion.
We are pure joy.

Finding Blockages, Beginning the Removal

As our struggle continues, we use today to take a refresher in what we would think would be quite fresh thoughts over the last two months. Reading our words again, everyone of them, it's like peering into someone else, peering into something good. This is probably the most odd sensation I've felt in quite some time.

The consternation we can feel on our face is clearly indicative of confusion. That these are our recent words is astounding. I'm wondering out loud, but we can touch on what we were attempting to outline. Of course, since we were the author, we have a direct connection to getting what we were saying.

Somewhere in this process of understanding, there's a distance we feel from everything and everyone and that we really are in a dream-like state, filled with illusions and delusions of our own making. It is this leap of acceptance that we must focus our mind upon, ferreting out the expectation we have for anyone else understanding what we're doing here.

We're keeping at it.